Serendipity

ser·en·dip·i·ty

/ˌserənˈdipədē/

noun

1. the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way. "a fortunate stroke of serendipity"

Let’s start off with my recent horoscope.

"You've been analyzing the deepest parts of your psyche. Change and separation will force you to let go and move on. This situation will force a separation between the way you've been thinking and communicating and the deepest parts of your psyche. This separation will see its beginnings in resources as they're related to deep truths. You'll first notice these changes in how you address your materialistic tendencies, or how you truly value and see yourself.

This change will reshape who you are. In hindsight, it is easy to see the beginning of things, and harder to see the ends. But in the end, past all the ambiguities and second starts and broken resolves, there is a moment when you are no longer the person you once were.

You will be moved into a new phase whether you are ready or not. Be ready to let go."

We love a good parking lot date

Even the Co-Star app knows about the huge change I’m about to make in my life that I’m going to share with you all right now.

The quote: “You will be moved into a new phase whether you are ready or not. Be ready to let go,” hit me in my gut. It's what I've been needing to hear.

This is real. This is right now.

Phew, I’ve been keeping this lowkey for a long time because I was scared to admit it was actually happening.

I’m taking on a brand new life path.

I'm moving.

Me :) at a shoot location I found from driving around one day

I always talk about how happy I am in life. So, you're probably wondering why I'd want to leave and restart.

This is something I’ve always dreamed of doing. Living. Leaving the nest, starting over, experiencing a new viewpoint of the world. When I decided I wanted to take this photography career head on I dedicated myself to this business. I knew I would have to drastically change my habits, social life, who I surrounded myself with, everything. If I wanted to chase my life dreams I knew I'd have to give up a lot to get where I want to be. So, I took the leap and I did.

Doing so meant I was giving up more than my free time. I was opening myself up to wherever my career would take me. Giving my all to my career meant that I have to go wherever I can grow. I am actively looking to evolve.

In a previous post I said to "always let yourself grow in the direction of your sun."

Alexa, play "Head Over Heels" by Tears For Fears

You're probably wondering where I'm going and what my plan is and just want me to get to the good stuff. A lot has happened since we last talked! Grab a snack and just be patient with me okay?

For starters, I should introduce you to my best friend.

This was when Miranda came to visit in July. We spent her entire last day playing mermaids at the beach and then got $100 worth of Hana Sushi

About four years ago I met a girl named Miranda at a mutual friend's house party. She was wearing a dress with her vans, (classic Mirandy), and I remember thinking how cool I thought she was. Only to find out, she's so much cooler than I ever expected.

We played a game of Tipsy Man Hunt together and the rest is history. Miranda is one of the most inspiring, golden, and motivating forces in my life. I've never met someone that just gets me so well. Our relationship with each other grew off of our shared love of The 1975 and how we both love to romanticize our lives. We met and instantly clicked. It was love at first sight. We just get each other. It's almost like we can read each others minds sometimes. She's my favorite person to go on night drives with. My own personal GPS. She always has the best ideas like trying to binge watch the American Pie movies all in one night.

This photo was taken on my best friend Tara's wedding day moments before we ran to the limo that took us to the ceremony

Miranda is gentle. Her presence is calming. If you're lucky enough to know her than you know that she is a never ending light that radiates positivity. We have both dreamed about the day we could live in a lil apartment together somewhere, but it was always just a day dream. We even made Pinterest boards on what our kitchen counters would look like. Miranda grew up military so she has lived pretty much all over the world. In the years that we've been friends Miranda has lived in four different states. Growing up I never really had a long distance friendship. So, it wasn't until miranda came into my life that I knew the feeling of leaving your a little piece of your soul at the gates of an airport. :(

*wipes tear*

Newport, Rhode Island has been Miranda's home for the past year. She's been living her best life there. Living in the most vibey apartment with her sister, Bri, and her boy friend, Nick. In Miranda's free time you can find her photographing couples on the weekends, running downtown early in the morning or at Ben & Jerry's.

The best dance partner

A few months ago our dream of living together became a possible reality. Bri & Nick were moving out and she needed a roommate all the way in RI.

At first I thought "Maybe I could make that happen." But then I changed my thinking and started saying "I will make that happen." It was so easy to say yes. From that day on I counted down the months, weeks, and days until I'd get to move. I kept it quite until now because I wanted this so bad that I didn't want to jinx anything. I was also really really fucking scared, but I was so focused on the goal that I suppressed any negative thoughts about leaving.

Over the course of a few months, after agreeing to move in, I started gaining so much support for my business. Just as I felt myself taking off Covid happened. I got discouraged until I took a step back and realized that I wasn't limited at all despite the circumstances. I started taking self portrait inspired by maybe a song I heard in the car or holidays or tv shows. Everyday I drove around Gloucester pre-planning where to shoot at when we were able to be around people again. Once I was able to photograph again I couldn't stop. My business flourished along with my spirit. I truly felt unstoppable.

I like this photo because it shows the one and only time I've successfully parallel parked

But because nothing comes easily when you're the main character, life has recently thrown some curve balls my way. I accidentally destroyed my camera, (which I'm still paying off btw), and got a speeding ticket in the same day. My car got towed that same month and it's been storming pretty much every day which means no photo sessions. Which also means I've had a lot of free time to really think about this move over the past few weeks. A down spiral of unfortunate events + a lot of free time is basically a recipe for disaster. I've been really overthinking this whole leaving thing. I mean, look at how much I'll be giving up.

Sundays at Newpoint

I’m leaving everything I’ve ever known. Every curvy backroad I know by hand. Dance parties with my mom in my tiny room to ABBA. The cute guy the gives me a flower every time we see each other. Coffee & therapy sessions with my Aunt Lori.

“A flower for my flower.”

- As he would say.

I'm leaving my best friends. My loyal clients. My family. Everything.

Tequila Tess

I’m going to miss my house. My home. The Burgundy shudders. My dad's workshop in the back. The smell of biscuits and gravy with bacon on Saturday mornings. I'll miss my sister poking her head in my room asking for help with her outfit that day. How it only takes me five minutes to get to my best friend Kaela's house.

My sweet sweet pup, Maggie. The spunkiest & most rotten lil thing I've ever seen. She has been my best friend for four years.

The iconic wall of women empowerment

That is just mentioning some of the things I will be missing. We can talk about my fear of failure, dissapointment or the dark thoughts that everyone will forget about me as time rushes past us. But why?

So much has changed over just the past year of my life. If you handed me a one way ticket out of my small town a year ago I would of taken it without batting an eye. Why am I so afraid now? I was really down in the dumps this morning before writing this. Not because I am unhappy, but because I am so afraid that I am making a bad decision that will ultimately change everything I've ever known and loved.

The perfect burrito *chefs kiss*

But while in the middle of writing this in Barns and Noble (for the third time that week.), I had a sudden realization. It felt like déjà vu.

I was sitting on the floor next to the windows in the back of the store while it was storming like crazy outside.

Storms + bookstores = euphoria

A local spot I'll miss going to

I was slamming my fingers on my keys writing about how crazy my emotions were at that time. I took a break from writing and looked around at my surroundings and it hit me. I had sat in this same significant spot a year ago.

Miranda came to visit last summer for a week. The day she left was grey and rainy. I went to Barnes and. Noble after taking her to the airport, found a perfect window seat in the back and I cried. I was sad because my shotgun rider was gone of course but I had a hard realization that day when she got to leave here and I didn't. I had to go back to working my shitty job, being in an exhausting relationship, & back to being unmotivated and uninspired. I wished so badly I was on that flight with Miranda heading to a new place to experience.

POV: you're on the best date ever

A year ago I was sitting in the same exact spot I am now writing this trying to figure out any way I could get my ass to Rhode Island. Here I am a year later having conflicting feelings on finally moving there. I have money saved up, furniture bought, plans set in stone and basically a flawless plan. I couldn't ask for an easier move or better opportunity. It's like the universe paved a pathway for me. I get to finally live with my best friend in one of the most beautiful places I've ever been to.

I think I manifested something that first evening I spent on the uncomfortable bench in the back of Barnes and Noble. I got exactly what I wished for that day.

Realizing this has really been a..."quit being a lil bitch" moment.

I'm going after what I want and not letting the minuscule "what if's" get the best of me. This is what I've always dreamed of, remember? Living.

Big Ben

My aunt said this is my stepping stone and its supposed to scare me. I can't wait to make the leap.

Miranda will be flying to Virginia on the 6th of September and this time, I'll be leaving with her.

September 14th is going to change my life. I'll be freshly twenty two and unstoppable.

Thank you for following me this far. I can't wait to see what the future holds. luv u.