Remember me??? The girl who woke up one day and decided to pack her whole life up in the back of her car and move? You’re probably wondering how that’s going.
This blog post is way overdue, I know. For some reason I’ve been struggling to write about myself. Give me any other topic and I could write a full essay on it in MLA format for you. It’s hard for me to talk about myself from a quick & surface level aspect. I mean yeah... I love Chick-fil-A as much as the next white girl with a camera and I can sit here and go on and on about how moving from my hometown was the best decision I’ve ever made; because it was, but that’s so predictable.
The majority of my blog posts don’t come from weeks of writing and editing. They come from the notes in my phone on a Tuesday morning because it’s one of those days and I started listening to Drake’s “Take Care” album at 8 A.M.. Happens to most of us I'm sure. I guess for starters I can give you a basic life update.
September 14th is a day I’ll always remember. Miranda courageously helped me throughout the whole moving process and was with me every step of the way without complaining once. God, I love that girl. That morning I woke up and knew what was happening but it still didn’t feel real. I packed my car up on autopilot while thinking of everything I was leaving. I looked at my empty room and shut the door, I kissed my dog Maggie and told her I was coming home for her again. I said the hardest but yet easiest goodbye to my family and watched them stand in my front yard with runny eyes, waving me goodbye as Miranda drove us out. A scene from my life that will always replay in my head.
I knew the goodbyes would be the hardest part. I experienced many different goodbyes in my last days in Gloucester. My familiarity with goodbyes changed forever. This wasn't like anything I had experienced before. I experienced the kind of goodbyes that you hold together so well until the last minute and then next thing you know you’re crying in someone’s front yard for an hour, the kind where you don’t say anything at all because you both know it will hurt so bad, the final goodbye you pushed off utill the very end because you know it would hurt the most.
I've adjusted really well to life here. I'm not homesick and my happiness has skyrocketed. I even visited Gloucester for Christmas and it just felt off. Felt like home but different. The goodbyes were easier. As I’m writing this I’m trying to think of interesting topics you can relate to. In any situation my first initial thought is “What have I learned?” In the three months I’ve been here I’d have to make a three part series on all the vast things I’ve learned. Off the top of my head I can say I learned that hearing “Miss Ryleigh, what’s on my finger?” from a two year old is more terrifying then it sounds & the many different ways to make “rent ramen” every night for a week. ORRrrr how quickly I learned what a duvet cover actually is and that it doesn’t keep you warm at night. At all. Even if you spent over $100 on it.
I’m usually in the mood to go full Virgo Buddha on you and write a super dramatic & emo blog post about every beautiful memory living in Rhode Island has given me but that’s just not what I’m feeling. Let's keep it simple.
I’ve had some pretty killer moments here in RI. Some gnarly, straight out of a Netflix original experiences. But of course with the highs, come the lows. Some gnarly, crying in the shower to the Moana soundtrack lows. Would you believe me if I said they were both key to moving being the best decision I’ve made?
In typical Ryleigh blog fashion, I'm going to tell you about the highs & lows and expose myself on the internet because it’s just what I do best.
Highs:
Driving on the Newport bridge at 12 AM blasting “Slow Dancing In the Dark” while Miranda was dancing out of my sunroof. We were the only car on the bridge.
Seeing “Carrie” (1970) at a drive in movie theater in the fall days before Halloween.
Unknowingly matching with my neighbor on hinge.
Watching the sunrise at 1st beach on the way to work. I’ve never experienced a sunrise that made me cry until I moved here.
Tequila Tuesday trips to ash-mart to get a quesadilla.
Finding an amazing tattoo artist & hair stylist to help keep my thirst traps on point.
Ocean drive car picnics.
Watching the babies I work with grow everyday. As much as I’ve taught them, I think they’ve taught me just as much.
Watching people cliff dive at sunset.
Manifesting under the moon with Miranda.
Walking to the liquor store with my roommate ally to get "nips"and then taking them in the parking lot.
Lows:
Having my card decline at stop & shop trying to buy milk.
Going weeks without doing portraits because I’m still new as fuck and haven’t made a name for myself yet.
Ripping off my side mirror on another car because I was crying while driving.
Getting one of the most devastating Instagram DM’s I could receive.
Realizing how many people doubted me in moving here.
Sitting in bed alone as I listen to my friend fall in love in the next room.
When someone touched my shunt on the back of my head and said it weirded them out. I cried in the bathroom for an hour.
Mindless nights where I stayed up worrying about my future.
Realizing I can't run to my mom for comfort when I want to give up.
I’m insanely lucky to have more highs than lows. Life in RI has been indescribable and I’m ready for so many more of those up's and down's. If I had to tell you what my favorite thing about being living here would be, of course I can’t go for the easy answer - The beauty, the magic, the independence & self sufficiency I feel, the new friends & experiences I have. I love it all so much but the best part is that everyone just sees me as Ryleigh. They see me for everything I am right now. They don’t see me as the shy girl from oceanography class or another “girl in Gloucester that thinks she’s a photographer, they don’t see me for who I’ve dated in the past and who I've surrounded myself with. The people here don’t have the ability to have a judgement of me for who I was growing up in my small town. Nobody knows about my past traumas, my past highs and lows. To them, I’m Ryleigh. The girl who took the leap to start over. The girl that is passionate about her photography career. A dependent co-worker, the neighbor that always pets your dog, someone who is overly friendly with strangers. The girl that wins almost every game of “what do you meme”. I love just being me. Being Ryleigh is my favorite part.
It’s like I’m finding myself over & over again.
The next time we speak I know I’ll have some new story to tell, a new tattoo and maybe even a new hair color. Just know, the main character moments don’t stop here.
If you’ve been following a long with my journey, thank you. Thank you for the endless support. Without you, I wouldn’t have anything.
So, this is me closing out until next time. I’m already ready to tell you about my next adventure, are you?
Peace n luv.
Be fucking nice to people.
Always urz,
Ryleigh. Just Ryleigh.
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